Violent Malformation

Some days I try and pinpoint the exact moment I pulled myself away from my friends. Was it working all the time? Spending more time with a girlfriend? Being in a drunken stuper? Was it them getting married having kids? Lack of interests?  Getting dismissed even though I was there for every beckoned call? Who knows all I know is... It sucks sometimes. When people you are so close with break apart and have new best friends and when you see them you catch up but for some reason it feels like a chore. Like you have to do it. Trying to save something that isn't there anymore. Maybe it's just me. I can't speak to someone every day or week. I hate talking on the phone. Also knowing that I make a effort but no one reciprocates. I always have that thought in my head like oh they are probably busy but then you see them posting a thousand things on Facebook or other random social sites but they can't respond to a message saying "Oh I'm good how are you? " I wonder why I care sometimes. I guess having invested so many years with people you don't want to let go. I think it's almost time for me too. For sanity reasons.